Saturday, April 24, 2021

FRIENDS




 Last week I visited a friend I have known since 1950, when we were in the fourth grade.  We are two of a group of four who have remained in touch and involved, if only emotionally, in each other's lives.  Seventy-one years of friendship.  I have another group of friends who date from my first and second year at UCLA, 1958-59.  We pledged the same sorority and have been involved, socially and/or professionally, for about sixty-three years.  When I moved from Los Angeles to Los Osos, on the coast near San Luis Obispo, I had two friends here, along with the boyfriend who moved us.  He moved on, and I made new friends:  some from writing groups, some from my job at Cal Poly SLO, and many from my sobriety fellowship.  The last group of new friends I found was when we moved to the Philippines, and then Chad, to teach in international schools.   These international compadres have hosted us in New Zealand, the U.K., and several states, and we have returned the favor whenever we can and stand willing to carry on, once The Dread Covid is back in its metaphorical cave.

The best party I can imagine would be several days at a beach resort with all of my friends from various sources gathered together to discover the joy I have had in knowing them.   They are not alike, many are liberal but some are conservative; many are old, but some are younger; many of them are travel junkies like me, but some cannot be induced to go farther than twelve miles from home; many are gregarious but some are introverts.  The majority are white but many are people of color, including two of our own children and their families.  What I can say is that they are all interested and interesting.  They participate in life and contribute to it.  Most of them make me laugh.  They are loyal, in the way that I could call any one of them in the middle of the night and after some preliminary colorful language or irritation, they would do what they could to help.  I love them all.

At the party, there would be sunshine and swimming, good books and good food.  There would be no schedule or program, but everyone would have a list, like a birder's list, and would have to check off a certain number of new people they met each day.  There would be dancing and singing and swimming and boating and horseback riding, for those whose own backs can still stand it.  I would make a big  photo book of the entire event and distribute it to everyone.  But unless we win the lottery very soon, it could be difficult to get everyone together.

The original cohort is in our eighties now.  True, only just 80 (although I am pushing 81), and most of us pretty stalwart and mobile.  But we all have our aging stories - sciatica, vertigo, osteoporosis, arthritis, and the propensity to say, while watching Jeopardy, "I know what this is, I just can't think of the name."  Some of us have relatives with Alzheimers or dementia, one friend is having some difficulties which we all hope can be addressed with medication.  Some of us are reluctant to drive after dark, or in Los Angeles (me), although I will take off across the country without too much thought.  We are chafing at travel restrictions to foreign countries that we love or that are on our bucket list.  At least three of us are planning trips or cruises.  

Perhaps my earliest friend and model of what a friend could be was my Aunt D.  She was smart, funny, generous, and did not suffer fools gladly.  She was an ally in my perceived struggle with my mother, and she lived, bravely and cheerfully, to be 104, a staunch supporter of Barack Obama and of her family.  She died with them gathered around her and her favorite Cole Porter music playing.  While I can't plan to die with my friends around me and the Kingston Trio playing, I can certainly hope that each of us carries on dancing for many more years.

Thank you, friends.

3 comments:

  1. Second try

    Your idea sounds great. Thank you for being a cookoff friend. It’s a year today since we started. Love. eva for veep.

    ReplyDelete

The Repositioned Corpse. I originally envisioned a novel, but it seems that I don't have the desire or stamina to write something so long. Still like doing short stories, though.

                                      THE REPOSITIONED CORPSE On a repositioning cruise,while a cruise   ship moves   from one sea   to an...